


My loneliness calls

by Fruitsandlube



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Erik centric, F/M, Multi, Nakia/T'Challa is endgame but lots of Nakia/Erik vibes too, Post-Black Panther (2018), Post-Canon, Trying angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-25 10:31:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13832301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fruitsandlube/pseuds/Fruitsandlube
Summary: Set eight years after the movie, it's a special day and Erik always knew Nakia would make a beautiful bride. He, despite hoping for the contrary, also always knew he wouldn't be the one waiting for her at the end of the altar.





	1. Too hard to fake it, nothing can replace it

**Author's Note:**

> All of this is based on Before I do by Sevyn Streeter and Sam Smith's Too good at goodbyes.

Looking at her feels like wandering in fields of ylang-ylang flowers, the perfume of sweetness printed in the air and a permanent warmth surrounding him. As he stares in utter admiration of her beauty, her gaze briefly grazes his before turning away in haste. It reminds him of when he found out his feelings for her, oh those were some weird ass days!

He was in such a strange place too, regarding T'Challa, Shuri, everyone really. After all, he had tried and almost succeed in plunging the world into chaos via Wakanda. He didn't regret it, that includes his past decisions. If you decide to do something after reflecting and thinking about it, you can't regret it afterward. Otherwise, you probably weren't even sure of your choice in the first place. If he were to regret what he did when he entered Wakanda, he'd probably regret his whole military career. That wasn't going to happen, he had a reason for all his actions, no matter how wrong said reason could be seen by people. Besides, he wasn't the kind to get on his knees and beg forgiveness, the only reason he was alive in the first place was T'Challa and whatever reasons had him pushed to keep his newfound cousin alive.

All of that happened almost a decade ago and with how much went down since it feels like a different life. The story of his arrival in Wakanda though, stills feels like a fresh wound for the citizens who still don't see him as one of their own, or at least as a respectable person. He can't blame them though, sometimes he barely trusts himself. Demons of the past always come back at night, singing their songs of misery and giving a voice to the countless people he's murdered. And though he did all of that with a purpose, that doesn't mean he can bear the nightmare and the feels of ghosts floating around him every hour of the day.

They come this time when he's sitting on the bench of the enormous royal palace gardens. A book of the origins of religions in Wakanda in his hands, long forgotten.

 _"Whatever chance you had at being accepted here,"_ begins a hollow high pitched voice in his head, _" you ruined it when you divided the people, all of them were fine without you. Your good for nothing ass had barely been here one day, and already, chaos spread itself like poison in this land. You did that, Killmonger, nothing good can come from you, and we both know that."_

 _"You think he can come back after what he did ?"_ the deep mocking voice of another begins, _"you can't take several lives like you were some god and expect yours to be saved!"_

"Erik-"

The familiar gentle voice snaps him out of his daze and suddenly brings back to reality. It feels so abrupt that knocks his elbows against the book he was reading and sends both it and his glass of liquor, to the ground in a brawl of broken glass. A curt "shit" leaves his mouth as he bends down to pick the book up before finally turning the newly arrived person.

It's Nakia.

Unlike his cousin T'Challa, Erik doesn't freeze upon seeing the ever breathtaking spy, but well she's certainly a sight he's not indifferent to. An embarrassing sound akin to a gasp almost comes out of throat before he quickly stops it, letting out a cough enough.

_You never had a problem with talking to beautiful women before; the hell is wrong with you?_

"Nakia hi," is the best he can muster,"how was everything going with aide center?"

"It's great, we've just opened a new one actually, and I got to meet some of our collaborators," she responds a fond smile on her lips," some of them are so young, barely out of college and so eager to make a difference! It's amazing really oh, and you should come to one of our meetings."

"Nah I-" he really can't see what he'd do there, and he doesn't deal well with questions, especially not from a bunch of excited kids, "I'll pass, to be honest."

"Oh," she nodded, resigned before gracing him with a smile once more,"Well you're always welcome if you ever change your mind."

Erik nods back, something at the back of his mind nagging him for not even trying before just giving up. But it's true; he's not the humanitarian kind, and charity dinners don't interest him. Even during his black ops days, those were what he dreaded the most.

Not the killings, huh? The cold high pitched voice remarks.

The soft touch against his hand startles him, and as his eyes meet Nakia's again, he realized he spaced out again. It happenings more and more these days, maybe it was a relapse and all those years of therapy had stopped working. Or perhaps truth was just finally coming back to the surface, and the illusion of his life here was fading away.

"N'Jadaka are you-"

"Don't," he hisses, pulling his hand from hers "don't call me that." If the had to choose the ghost that tortures him the most, it'd be the name his father gave him. It holds so much of his childhood and the pain that comes with it. Nobody except his father and what he thought was his uncle, James, had ever called him that anyway.

N'Jadaka wasn't him.

Nakia's pretty big brown eyes widened at his reaction, and she fell silent. The last time they had seen each other, he felt better, and that showed in their relation. But that was months ago, and now his demons had come back full force, the roughness of his personality came back too. It made him act hostile, aggressive and those two words were what the citizens of Wakanda saw him for a long time. He couldn't blame though, now and then, the feeling of the ghost of his black ops missions trying to take over his body plunged him right back into that time of his life.

 _Nobody's safe around your crazy ass_ ; the masculine voice in his head breaths out.

"Nakia, Cousin!" the joyful voice of Shuri calls out before she stands before the two,"Nakia, mother wants to see you, she says it's urgent."

"I- okay, Erik we'll talk later," she says before taking her leave, it's not a suggestion, and he knows it. Years of being around her meant he knew when she was asking and when she was just letting him know. He had been cornered by her many times before when she'd seen the worries ready to tumble from his mouth before he did. Most of the time he knows they're eating him from inside, he's just not down with the whole sharing thing. He's not used to it; there was none of that in the CIA, black ops, etc. He feels like college was probably the last time he spoke of his demons to someone and did the same for them. That's a really long time.

And on top of that, the one whos interested in seeing how he's doing is also the woman he has feelings for. Feelings that'll always be unrequited because she happens to be the longtime love of his cousin. The King.

"Cousin come, mother's waiting for us" his baby cousin throws over her shoulder, already walking towards the royal palace.

"Huh? But you just told Nakia-"

"I know what I said; we just need her to be distracted for a while."

"A'ight," he stops in his tracks and gently grabs her wrist, so she stops too,"What's going on ?"

Shuri lightly biting her lower lip only confirms whats now become evident, her and queen mother are hiding something. Though she seems hell-bent on not telling him at first, a smile appears on her face, and she grabs both of his arms in pure joy.

"Oh cousin, T'Challa's finally going to pop the question!" she finally reveals, giggles of happiness tumbling from her mouth, "at last, they're getting married."

The remnant of mechanisms of his CIA days helps him put a huge smile on his face at the news like he doesn't feel something break inside him. Probably his heart.


	2. I need some shelter of my own protection baby

The first time she came to him was soon after he almost died, around eight years ago. And he had been plain rude and hostile towards her for no apparent reason other that he had no idea why he was still alive and also, why he was still in Wakanda. Healing him and then throw him out the country would've made more sense, but his cousin had been a lot more generous.

He brought Erik to the royal palace where the family lived, now that didn't make any sense at all. Barely two weeks prior he had tried to take over the country and kill the princess. The later one being the reason as to why -he was sure the Queen would never accept his presence. He couldn't blame her, and for a while, Shuri herself had done her best to ignore his existence but that only lasted a few months.

It bothers him at the same time because for the majority of his life; he didn't belong anywhere. He was all by himself, like a single electron, free of the burden of caring for others but also deprived of the love they give. To be honest, he has no idea of how to navigate this new period of his life, in this new country he heard so much about and yet, barely knows.

"What should I call you ?" Nakia chooses to break the silence, sitting next to him,"if you don't like your birth name, I can't just keep calling Killmonger now can I ?"

"Why not, I earned that name, it didn't just pop outta nowhere."

"Does it reflect who you truly are though ?" she pushes, a glint of curiosity in those warm brown eyes of hers.

"Why do you care?" he retorts immediately, moving closer to her and intrude her personal space, "what is it that you want, why are you here ?"

Though he knew she was the best spy of Wakanda -and thus had stood her ground to worse than him - he still hoped that would be enough to make her go away. But all he got was a mere raise of eyebrows and a spark of amusement in her eyes. Like she was saying "that's all you   
got?" without actually having to say it.

A spark of something akin to lust flared up inside him at the close view of this beautiful woman who had no problem challenging him. Though the anger that came with feeling like she was playing him, pushing him around for fun, quickly took over.

"What do you think you're doing N'Jadaka?" she pressed on his name while staring right back at him like a challenge,"are you trying to scare me because I've seen better I must say."

Finally, he's the one to pull away; his mouth drawn in a tight line as he feels both amused and humiliated by her. She's not the first woman to attempt to push him around though, in his life he's known a lot of those, and it's not what bothers him. What disrupts the tiny amount of peace he's managed to get up until now, is how persistent she is at trying to get him to open up. The only times when she doesn't show up and corners him with her questions is when she's on missions abroad. And although those times bring him some peace, he finds himself almost missing the pretty cheeky spy (not that she needs to know.)

He also must tread carefully around her considering who she is to T'Challa, but mostly because she's the only person that spoke to him since he's here. While he was recovering; princess Shuri would throw short words over her shoulder about how his conditions were getting better. And making it very clear she had no intention to speak with the man who almost killed her and her brother. All the while, he was still wondering when he could leave.

Leave to go where? You ain't got nowhere else to go.

There's no one waiting for him back in Oakland or anywhere else for that matter. That's one the main reasons why he had no reserves about throwing himself into this whole plan to take over Wakanda to change the world and how it treats the oppressed. If he won, he'd get what he worked his entire life tirelessly for. If he died, he had nothing to lose so that it'd be it. He just didn't plan or see his so righteous cousin bringing back to life and keeping in Wakanda (where absolutely no one wanted him). Being locked up in that prison as he came to call the Royal Palace, lasted a whole year before T'Challa offered him a chance to leave.

"And never show up again right?" he had said, relieved to leave finally and at the same time, saddened that he would never get to know the country he's from. It made sense though, even if he had a family here, they were traumatized by his coup d'état and the many deaths it caused.

T'Challa as this ever so great king he was trying to be, though he offered the contrary, also wanted his cousin to stay.

"It's going to take a long time, but we can build something together," he assured his hand turned towards his sister who seemed hopeful and like she wanted to protest at the same time."We are meant to be a family, and as long as we're alive, it can happen."

Erik seriously doubted that. Queen Ramonda's behavior towards him was all he needed. She's cordial with him and tries her best with this nephew who popped out of nowhere. But he knows his presence itself was the manifestation of a terrible secret her husband kept from her and took with him to the grave. Perhaps it's what made her the most uncomfortable, that and the fact that he almost succeeded in murdering her son. The only reason she's trying and playing into this whole family thing is that she and T'Challa are very close and he's confident they can work things out.

Surprisingly, it's her in the end who convinces him not to leave.

"Where will you go once you're out there in the world, all alone ?" She asks one morning as he and T'Challa are having breakfast."You won't have anyone to welcome and house you."

"Don't worry about me."

"How can I not worry when it's how uncared for you were all those years that lead you to become so cold?" she retorts, her maternal instincts being the only reason she's able to see him as more than a murderer."I've read your file you know, there's nothing for you outside. You won't make it all by yourself-"  
  
"Mother!" T'Challa interrupts, his eyes widening as he turns to his mother.

"I been fine all my own so far." he retorts, amused at her suddenly coming at him when she spoke only a handful of words in total to him in the whole time he's lived at the palace.

"Really ?" she pushes, her doe eyes regarding him with pity,"you grown up to be a broken young man whose surrounded by solitude and anger. Just because you come from a broken environment doesn't mean-"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" he shouts, hand balled into a fist.

Immediately T'Challa stands up, alerted by his cousin's sudden aggressiveness. He steps closer to his mother but doesn't attempt anything else. Erik knows what this means though, knows the fierce loyalty a son feels for his mother (even if he hadn't been blessed with the same model). And he knows the somewhat tranquil breakfast could end up in a fight.

"N'Jadaka," the queen calls, getting up too and coming closer to him despite receiving only a glare in response,"don't let your past define who you could be, think about how in the near future -if we all put the work in- we could be a family. Your family, your support system."

Erik holds her stare, wondering if she truly means it or if she just says so because of her son. It stings too, seeing her act like she cares because his mother left when he was five and died in a car crash a couple of years later, so he never got to feel a mother's love. And out of nowhere comes this woman, who thinks she can just come here and fix that. He's never felt a mother's love and doesn't know how to. After all these years he managed not to yearn it, but right now the orphan inside him wants to reach out to Ramonda.

He refuses to say it out loud though and just gets up to leave the room.

_You should know how lucky you are;_ the ever so mocking voice breathes out, _it's not every day a family comes at you with open arms, ready to accept your damaged ass._

It's only as he arrives at the gardens that he realizes, she called him N'Jadaka, and for once, he didn't reject it.

The next day at the crack of dawn, he lies in his bed awake and staring at the ceiling. He knows at the same time; a spaceship is waiting for him to leave the country.

He doesn't go and decides to stay.

Nobodys says anything, even if T'Challa addresses him a smile as they see each other later that day.

  
A couple of days later, Shuri barges in his room, a member of the Dora Milaje in tow. As soon as his gaze catches hers, he knows she doesn't want to be here but forces herself.

"My brother says you've been to MIT," she greets, it comes as tense, but he appreciates the effort,"if you ever feel like sharing knowledge, you're welcome at my lab."

"Oh yeah, even if I could turn your inventions into war weapon ?"

"Don't play yourself, I'm smarter than you," she immediately retorts which earn her a chuckle from her brooding cousin.

He merely nods, and she leaves shortly after.

A couple of hours later he finally visits the lab and doesn't hide the fact that he's impressed by Shuri's intelligence and innovation. She's better than him, that's a fact he feels proud of. He's genuinely admirative of the space of work she has created. The next week, she accepts some his suggestions and quickly becomes the family member he talks with the most. As he returns to his room that night, his kimoyo beads beep to notify he's received files.

His breath gets caught in his throat when he sees it's photos of his father in his younger days before he left for the United States.   
He doesn't know where or how Shuri got a hold of these, but as he quickly learns, she has her ways.

On the anniversary of his father's death, he spends the entire day in Shuri's lab with her. Though he's sure she knows something's going on with him, she doesn't mention it, and he's grateful. Except for once, he's got some of his secrets to share.

"I almost became someone's pops you know?" he says, an afrobeat song in the background, upbeat catchy and its sound almost taking over his soft-spoken confession. His baby cousin swiftly turns to him; questions left unsaid but evident in her eyes.

"She lost it, at three months." he responds, shrugging his shoulder at the weird period this was emotionally for him."It wasn't in the plan, but when she told me she was pregnant, I thought what if ?" his voice trembles on the next words,"obviously it didn't happen."

"To be honest, I have no idea of what I would've done if it didn't end there," comes as a whisper."I barely had a dad myself, so there was no one I could look up to."

"He died this day in 1992; it's going to be 30 years ago in not so long."

Shuri nods at lost for words to say, but still in need to comfort him. After seconds of deliberation, she stands up and grabs his wrist in her gentle warm hand. Erik lowers his eyes because it's been so long since someone been there for him with no ulterior motives. And he feels shameful at having a younger person comforting him; he's not used to it. Then he startles when he feels arms encircle his waist and pull him into an embrace.

He pretends there aren't tears in his eyes when she softly whispers "It's going to be okay, we're all here for you." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to focus on Erik and his relationship with Ramonda,T'Challa and Shuri before doing so with Nakia. Also you'll get to see more of her and Okoye in the next chapter.


	3. Lost in the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not revised fyi)

At first, he doesn't know who she is, calls her T'Challa's girl and most of the time stares, in awe of her beauty, before abruptly turning away when she catches him. He learns her name a few days into his stay in Wakanda.

Nakia.

The pretty spy full of feist.

The few times they encountered each other before she left abroad on a mission, have been full of tension, to say the least. Whenever she's at the palace -where he literally spends all day- she usually acknowledges him with a look. Sometimes it's a long one full of curiosity. Like she's trying to figure him out, or probably why he's still here.   
For a while even if he now knows the reason, he can't bring himself to say it out loud.

All I have left of a family is here if I leave it'll just be me again.

He chuckles in bitterness when he thinks about the irony of the situation, him who spent his entire life taking off a soon as anyone would try to get anywhere close emotionally, it was enough to make him run away. And now he feels like it's the last chance he'll ever get at being a part of a family, a support system. Back in his army days, he would've given everything to feel a sense of belonging. You may think in such a structure like the US army that would've been a given thing, feeling like you belonged to a group of people. But truth is, Erik wasn't there for that. The CIA, Black Ops all of those organization (to which he gave nearly a decade of his life) were training centers for him. They were only there to prepare him for the real thing: the day he'd kill T'Challa.

It's during one peculiarly hot afternoon -when it feels like your blood cells are boiling like eggs in a pot- that the charming spy catches him while he's going through an episode, notably shirtless and gripping the bronze colored railing.

Amidst the usual jabs at his insecurities coming from the darkest part of his mind, a delicate voice, devoided of poison -unlike the other ones- calls out. He can hear amidst the storm of self-hate, but it's so soft compared to the other ones, that it feels like a dream.   
Just like when he was a little boy and was still dreaming of his mama, a few months into the year of her going missing.   
Those dreams didn't last long though because as grew up when understood he couldn't have that. Not in his world. And at age nineteen, a couple of months before he got into MIT, his ever so brilliant brain figured out how to infiltrate state and then national sites. It's where he found she lived three years after leaving them; she found someone new and had decided he was worth abandoning her family. They both died in a car crash the same year Erik lost his father.

The dreams of her stopped then; there was nothing worth dreaming about.

There was nothing left to dream about anything really: his parents, the streets, the state, all of these had left him to figure out things in this cruel world. At age 12, he found out about the hell foster care can be and held on, teeth clenched. Once he was a grown man, there was nothing left to dream about, only plan for the day he'd get his revenge.

"What you want ?" he throws glaring, his heart still beating so far he's sure she can hear it.

Nakia raises her eyebrows in confusion before gesturing behind him, and as he turns around, he understands why he looks even more insane than usual.

It's raining like crazy, the giant leaf trees close to his balcony are entirely drenched in the rain. The spectacle of it all is forming a sort of curtain around him because yes, he's wet too even he's only noticed that now.

"What are you doing out?" the warm timbre of her voice reaches him again, as she tries once again to pull him inside by the forearm,"come on, you're going to catch a cold."

It's only because his mind is busy trying to anchor itself back into the present that he lets her drag him along and inside his room before she closes the giant glass door.   
  
"I'm surprised and glad to see you stayed," she says, her eyes in his even though he can see them sneaking glances at his naked chest."You seemed pretty set on leaving last time we spoke."

He decides not to remark her evident appreciation of his body.

"Yeah well a lot a changed since we saw each other," he offers, his response elusive and a way of showing he didn't want to give more details."And Wakanda's safer than the rest of the world, even if half the population wants me dead."

"Safe?" she repeats, eyebrow raised in confusion," since when is Erik Killmonger afraid of a little danger?"

Killmonger is a part of him, has played such a huge role in his life for the last decade, but that doesn't mean he likes to be reminded of it. Especially not from Nakia, a Wakandan who doesn't understand half of hell he been through.

"Coming to Wakanda, I planned to either get the revenge I wanted or die."

"And you didn't prepare anything else outside in case what you wanted didn't work," she concludes, her head tilting to the side as she contemplates him in that dishearted way of hers. It happens every time she wonders what kind of man he could've been if life hadn't been determined to ruin him.   
"Well, know that we're happy to have you here with us."

"Who's we?" he throws, a bitter chuckle leaving his lips. It's been almost six months since he awoke and people still avoid him like the plague.

Nakia briefly lowers her eyes, confirming his words, before her gaze catches his once again, "Me. I'm glad to have you here."

And you know, the way she says that with earnest makes Erik want to believe her. He feels the gentle yet firm energy of her spirit as it tries to wrap itself around his broken mind. In all honesty, it nearly reaches the lonely and scared little boy he once was. The thing is that little boy disappeared a long time ago when he understood nothing came for free, nothing was truly what seemed at first glance. Attention, affection, care, friendship, none of these things happen for no reason or without a price.

"I don't know what you think you're doing," his hostility towards her comes back in full force as he understands she might be using him. He knows aside from being a war dog; she's also specialized in studies of behavior and psychology. She probably thinks he's a guinea pig, a once a lifetime kind of case."But I'm done with whatever game is it you're playing."

Though she looks surprised at his sudden aggressiveness, she doesn't push and quietly gets out of his chambers.

He barely gets any sleep that night, a cloud of gruesome thoughts resting just atop his mind. His episodes happen more frequently these times, and the main reason is that he's not doing anything with his days. During the CIA or Black Ops days, he was training all hours and taking down targets the rest of the time. When you do that repeatedly, that it becomes almost like a routine, you're physically there and your reflex kick in when it comes to getting the job done. Things aren't as simple when it comes to the mind though. And recently, it feels like his consciousness is coming for revenge for all the times he's turned it down, and ignored it as he was taking life.

"Cousin are you well ?" T'Challa, bless his heart, tries one morning even he knows deep down they're nowhere comfortable with each other to speak about their emotional wellbeing.

At that Shuri briefly lifts her gaze from her phone, turning instead to him. And though the worry is apparent in her eyes, she knows him a bit better now and decides she'll ask the same question later, when they're alone. She knows he's not at ease with Queen Ramonda, no matter how hard she pretends to be accustomed to his presence. He's also still in a bizarre place with T'Challa, years of jealousy and hate don't just disappear overnight.

"You look like a zombie." the princess still points out though, earning a disapproving gaze from her mother.

Erik responds that he's okay, though he sees in the eyes of the family that they don't believe him.

"Nakia will be coming to the palace to talk with you," T'Challa announces, a small smile drawing itself on his lips at the mention of his lover,"it's time we find something you could do, other than the army of course since Okoye..."

"Is not his biggest fan?" Shuri provides, eyebrows raised in amusement.

Though he's genuinely interested in hearing the rest of the plan, his brain decides otherwise.   
Stopping his mind from diving into the past has gradually become more and more difficult, sometimes he overhears the inquiring words the Dora Milaje right outside his chamber speak to each other. Erik already knows if he can't control things, everybody in the palace will realize he's losing it. And maybe he honestly is, maybe his brain and spirit have finally given up struggling against the shits that come to life.   
He also hasn't given up on dying. The purpose of life which had kept alive for the last decade is now off, so he doesn't see the point of sticking around.

"You look like death," Nakia grits him as she corners him right after breakfast.

"So this is how it's gonna be now? You just pop up all the time even though I made it clear I'm not doing this ?!"

"What is this ?" she gestures between them, pressing on the little patient he possesses,"your vitals show that interactions with other people are good for you. So interacting with you is just what I'm going to keep doing until you're well enough again."

Erik feels confused at the mention of his vitals, not knowing how she got a hold of them before he remembers what's her job outside of being a war dog. Plus, knowing Shuri, she probably chipped him while he was recovering from the wound in the chest.

"Oh so I'm a subject for whatever psycho studies is it that you do?" he retorts, eyebrows raised in what he must admit deception upon realizing what his and Nakia's past interectations truly were." Or are you here because of my cousin, afraid I might try to kill him again?"

"I'm worried it's yourself you're going to end up hurting this time," she confesses, her eyes sad as they glide across his clothed torso, under which is scarred skin,"you're no stranger to physically hurting yourself after all."

Erik takes her words as an insult; it's like she's trying to tell he's not strong enough and that's why there are so many marks on the entirety of his upper body. The thing is, she couldn't be more wrong. Sure cutting took off some of the pressure momentarily, but if he weren't mentally stable, he would've collapsed a long time ago.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he grunts, taking a step towards to intimidate this woman who thinks she can just throw her wrong assumptions to his face. It's been done to him his whole life, people who judge you, get a tiny piece of you and think they have you all figured out."I faced whatever shit got thrown my way and kept on moving my whole life-"

"And it's catching up with you now," she cuts, catching his wrist a second later when he tries to storm out, "let me help you."

It's when she says "Please N'Jadaka" so softly, almost like a whisper that he feels it for the first. Like something inside him flares in silent as he feels Nakia's warms hands travel from his wrist to both his shoulders. And though she doesn't initiate more, the warmth of her hands is enough to ground him as he stares in those big walnut orbs of hers.   
He wonders when did he exactly started feeling like that about Nakia, sure she's a beautiful woman, and he's not indifferent to that. But this thing, what he feels, is coming from deep inside and incites his whole self to dive into the tender but firm energy of Nakia. It's as if she wraps herself around his troubled mind and peace in a way no technology or medicine ever could.

"Am I interrupting something?" Okoye's voice breaks the daze around the two, and he instantly misses Nakia's touch she pulls away, before turning to the General."Can we talk ?"

Though it's a question, Okoye's visibly not giving her friend any other option. The way she glares at him, her view of him as nuisance clear in the cool brown of her eyes. And though there's something deeply troubled in those same eyes when she turns them to the spy, she refuses to say more until Nakia takes off with her (without a glance for Erik).

Then, he stands there for maybe ten, fifteen minutes entirely at loss of ideas of what to do next. He's barely started to have an actual relationship with his family members, and now he has feelings for the woman his cousin loves?

For the first time in very long, he prays to the ancestors for things to not get more complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I know we didn't get much of Okoye in this chapter but I promise you she'll be very present in the next, and it will be Nakia's POV so you can get her side of the story. Her and N'Jadaka having feelings right away seemed a bit rushed and unbelievable (considering what's he done) so you'll get more of them exploring their feelings next time. Also, I've decided to add another chapter, which will be the final one and you'll get an epilogue too (with a little surprise:). Thank you for reading, please leave a comment and I'll see you in the next chapter!


End file.
